(After the 15 minute thunderous applaud and standing ovation-speech begins)

"Thank you, thank you, you may be seated. Today, America has spoken and went to the polls with 'Change' on their minds! (Applaud sign raised-crowd applauds) I want to start off by thanking a few important people for making my dream of being the first individual not born in America to become President of the United States! (Middle Eastern "Tongue Cry" sign raised-women yelp with their tongues) America is without a doubt a country of possibilities. I never thought it possible to be born in Kenya and yet become President of this country. Did I not tell you for the past 16 weeks that 'Change' is coming? Thus, I would like to thank my wife Michelle for saying the right things at the right time. Hopefully now in you mid-adult life, that you are finally proud of being an American again sweetheart! (Chant "USA" sign raised-people chant) I want to thank William Ayers for standing by my side through all the right-wing drilling we both took. We almost got caught didn't we? Whew! Thank Allah, I mean God that the American people didn't dig deeper into our relationship. If this was a game of Marco Polo, we would have lost a month ago! (Chant "Billy Ayers" sign is raised-people chant) Thanks again Billy! I also want to thank my pastor, mentor, best friend the reverend Jeremiah Wright! (Applaud sign raised-people applaud) Pastor, it's an honor to have had you by my side through all the scrutiny. Fox news, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity were on target about us. Yet thanks again to the American people for not digging deeper into my ties with social radicalist. So pastor, barbeque at my house on the east lawn! (Chant sign "BBQ" raised-people chant) I want to thank my Imam and counterpart Louis Farrakahn for your amazing support that you and the nation of Islam has shown this Kenyan brother now American President-Asa lama lakum! You and father Flamer, I mean Flager, have been an amazing support! Thank you for giving the speeches of White domination and Black depression, to show the American people that hate speeches do work when you say them right! (Chant sign "Down with White-E" raised-people chant) I also want to thank ACORN for your non-stop, in your face, you better vote attitude! I am still tickled that Ohio and Florida allowed Marlyin Monroe to vote in both states! Thanks to you ACORN the voice of the dead can be heard from beyond the grave and the voice of every childs imaginary friend can be registered to vote like decent human beings! Did I not tell you that 'Change' is coming? (Chant "Change" sign raised-people chant) I want to also thank Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Oprah Winfrey and Michael Jackson for being my favorte rich White friends! Last but certainly not least, I want to thank the Media for all the support, protection and free publicity that you gave this Kenyan brother! Thank you for deflecting the attacks from the 'right' and for demeaning the character of both McCain and Palin. Thanks to CNN, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, Chris Matthews, Keith Overbite, I mean Olberman, The View (especially Joy Behar), Madonna, Barbara Streisand (you are the nicest Jew I know), Larry King, Al Franken and the whole Saturday Night Live crew! Thanks to you and the power of television, I was never drilled about my associations with the radical left, my birth certificate never came out in public, my communistic/socialistic views were kept under the table and my Muslim/Christian faith was never challenged. Wow! I can't believe I'm President! (Applaud sign raised-people not applauding) You guys fell for it! A Kenyan became President and you never challenged it! This is amazing! Did I not tell you 'Change' is coming? Hey where is everyone going? Don't you want to stay for the food? It only costs $1000.00 a plate. Don't you want to use this to spread the wealth? Hey, c'mon guys! Why you leaving? This is what you wanted, right? You hated America so much, you voted in a Kenyan. Come back....come back......come back.... (The End)